…speaking of pungent fruits.. It isn’t durian season, but Thai varieties are available all year so we can get them here. I had a craving for it a few weeks ago and the little boy got in on the fun. Yep, he’s had a taste and seems to like it.
baby
Surviving a long haul flight with a 10 month old
Last month the most direct route from our house in Phnom Penh to my parents’ doorstep in NYC took 29 hours. We took two flights: Phnom Penh – Hong Kong for three hours, then Hong Kong – JFK for around 16 hours. It’s a long time on the road with an infant. Our baby practically lives in a suitcase, and has been on numerous flights since he was born – always as a lap child (at $1520 a seat on this flight, I think we’re going to take him as a lap child as long as we can!), so he’s used to flying and is generally manageable on flights. Nevertheless, I’m always anxious before the trip and packing “his” carry-on is de-stressing me.
We’re preparing for our trip back this weekend — yes, after I’d finally adjusted to the time zone and the cold weather. And grr we lose a day going back to Asia. But after several weeks of on-and-off colds and coughs, we’re ready for some tropical weather! With the rainy season over (though the floods in SE Asia sadly are not..), it’s the start of the cool season there.
So for keeping the baby constantly entertained on the plane? We’d irritate fellow passengers after Old McDonald belts out his farm song for the 20th time so no loud toys. Nor bright blinking toys, since they dim the cabin and passengers sleep to adjust to the time change. We’re packing a couple of his favorite snacks and activities. Here are a few ideas, but these are too things many to lug around. It’ll be just as chaotic keeping track of them as it is to keep the baby entertained or asleep.
- Snacks – cheerios, grapes, a bottle or sippy cup to put juice in
- Lollipops – candy to suck on in case he doesn’t want to nurse during takeoff or landing
- Markerboard with a washable marker and magnetic alphabets
- Balloons – great for the layover for him to chase around the lounge and tire himself
- Bubbles – for the layover
- Bottle caps eg from Snapple, Starbucks etc – lots of them and put them in a container to double for a rattle
- Stacking cups – I just collect the unused cups and bowls during mealtimes since the airline sets stack well
- Colorful pipe cleaners
- Long strings knotted together
- Hand/finger puppets
- Baby books
- Ergo carrier for walking him up and down the aisle if needed
- Ipad loaded with music and baby touch and hear apps – A flight is the only time that watching a screen enters the repertoire of entertaining diversions, and I’ve found apps for babies which are well done (educational) and simple, for very little ($0.99) or free.
Not to mention other necessities like an extra change of clothes (for both of us and the baby), enough diapers and wipes, and low expectations: Six months ago as a four month old, he did well on the same cross-Pacific trips because he nursed and slept a lot back then. But on this trip here he’s a mobile and easily engaged tot with an intense curiosity. I went into the Phnom Penh – NYC trip with some trepidation, and I found I had a significantly more difficult time than when I’d previously embarked on flights with an open mind and low expectations. Good thing hubby has a more laid-back and calm personality so the baby didn’t have just my frazzled self to soothe him.
Here’s hoping for smooth flights and a soundly asleep baby for most of the trip..
a nursing mom at work
Having a baby is a life changer, and thankfully our life outside the US has been good for us. The social culture in SE Asia and my profession are both supportive of young families. Staff and diners here don’t cringe when we walk into a restaurant or food shop; instead they fight over who gets to hold the baby while we eat, and he’s returned to us with the bill. Second, we’re lucky that my employer is so supportive of new mothers. There’s a nursery at the office so nursing moms to bring our babies to work. My colleagues help make sure that I can pump on the days I don’t bring the baby by scheduling me into the meeting rooms. I have an unofficial flex time. And on travels I can bring the baby (and his nanny) with me.
My current work has to do with quality improvement of health facilities in USAID-supported provinces. Two of the three people on my team have young babies, and we bring them along with us to the health centers. Since my husband does freelance and can work anywhere there’s an internet connection, he often joins us on my work trips.
One of the areas my team is working on is improvement of labor and delivery procedures. We’ve watched several deliveries lately – an endlessly fascinating miracle to me. It brings me back to the time my son became real to me, a little someone in my arms… Check these photos out. The baby is 2.5kg.
Brat bans
Kid-free zones seem to be increasingly popular over the past few years back in the US. Honestly, before I had a baby I’d have probably been in favor of the policy or at the very least indifferent to it.
And now?
We had our baby in SE Asia, where they take a completely opposite view towards kids and babies. When we walk into restaurants the waitstaff aren’t cringing at the thought of a screaming child and bussing a messy table. Once they get over the shyness of approaching a foreigner they fight over who gets to take the baby. They pass him around. Even the cooks and dishwashers back in the kitchen get in on the fun. Keith and I eat in peace, and the baby gets returned to us with the bill at the end of the meal.
Living in Phnom Penh, Having a baby in Bangkok
Photo by Keith A Kelly
CHOOSING THE HOSPITAL
We work and live in Phnom Penh, and wouldn’t feel comfortable with the specialists / facilities here in case of complications during delivery. The nearest city with internationally accredited care is Bangkok, so there we went at 35 weeks 6 days gestation, the latest we’re allowed to board a Thai Airways flight (with a fit-to-fly certificate from the doc).
Most of Bangkok’s well-known private facilities have high quality patient-oriented care and great customer service. They have translators, can take care of extending visas, take the baby’s passport photo (this isn’t easy so do get this done at the hospital!), get the birth certificate officially translated and documented at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and liaise on documentations necessary to register the birth at your particular embassy etc. Many people go to Bumrungrad Hospital; read this post and follow the link to her birth story at Bumrungrad here. This hospital is located in the neighborhood of Sukhumvit where many Arab nationals live, so the third spoken language is Arabic.
The delivery packages she quoted for Bumrungrad are comparable to those at Samitivej:
- Natural birth/Water birth (3 days admission) 55,000Baht / US$1800 on exchange rate 30Baht=US$1
- Natural birth with Epidural (3days admission) 68,000 Baht / US$2267
- C-section (4days admission) 78,000Baht / US$2600
So I’d heard there is a ~90% c-section rate in private hospitals in Bangkok..? At any rate it’s high, but that’s due to a lot of other factors (including the Asian quest for luck, leading parents to schedule c-sections on the most propitious time and date for birth). [Read more…] about Living in Phnom Penh, Having a baby in Bangkok
Tales from the bump
Google is not your friend if you’re pregnant and your hair dryer fries in your hand, briefly electrocuting you. Not to worry, he’s fine (says the doc, and yep he’s looking like a boy) – I can feel those momentous first movements. It’s like tiny little gas bubble rumblings :-\ He’s not packing much of a punch yet.
We spent a week in Jom Tien, Thailand, to check out a hospital and the ob-gyn there. Loved the doc. Loved the seafood – here we’re at a fisherman’s village gorging ourselves on the fresh catch.
About four weeks ago I started looking sufficiently femme fertile where people feel my tummy is public property and they can just reach out and touch the bump. Go away. This trimester’s more interesting than the first. The little rambutan’s stretching my tummy skin like a drum, he’s growing so fast! I’m starting to waddle, I need help turning over in bed, and did you ever notice those tailbone muscles? I didn’t til they hurt all day.
Sometimes we just sit back and marvel at this little tenant taking first dibs on my blood and nutrient supply. And I just have to poke at it a little bit hehe. Keith has been very supportive and indulgent, and my go-to griping board :-)
We spent a week in Bangkok too to check out another hospital. Samitivej Hospital is rated a baby-friendly hospital by WHO and UNICEF, meaning significant breastfeeding support with limited or no bottles allowed in the nursery. The hospital doesn’t accept for distribution to new mothers any free or low-cost formula.
Do you know there’s around a 70% caesarian rate at these hospitals out here?! Parents ask for it. They want an auspicious date and time for the birth. Seems like you’d screw up your kid’s astrological alignment doing that. Anyway I LOVED the birthing suites at this one hospital which is where many foreigners who work in SE Asia beeline for to have their baby. They have dim lighting, music, birthing pools, ladders, ropes and swings, aromatherapy oils, diffusers and candles, etc. Maybe I just haven’t visited a real hospital in a long time. Sure is the first time I have an intimate engagement with a health care system from the patient side. The docs at this hospital have a 3% caesarian rate [two thumbs up!].
So we’re planning for the delivery now. Going the natural birth route was a great idea before I got pregnant. It gets lousy the more you think about how big the sperm donor is, haha, although that supposedly isn’t a contributing factor (by size he’s already 1 1/2 weeks larger than the average). Diet? Low birthweight is the way to go? Induce early? Sigh. My own concerns, like the sneeze-and-pee side effect of a shattered pelvic floor, are suddenly so much less important now. I guess the joy of parenting is about beating these silly narcissisms out of you.
We’re also starting to look at baby things. Poor little guy have the most minimalist parents (maybe we’ve been working out here too long). I don’t understand why it needs a crib, a baby bathtub, baby shampoo, bibs, pacifiers etc…?
But I do notice the recent meltdowns savvied up this niche’s purchasing experience. It’s feel-good shopping on a gratuitous new scale.
An ergonomically awesome baby carrier created by a good ol’ mom-n-pop American shop? Gotta have it. Designer breast pumps and glass bottles, fashioned by professional moms using the latest evidence-based clinical specs, materials and sense? Click – BUY! And check out these adorable little haute couture ensembles for all his potty needs! I can just see the trendy little multi-cultured, fair-labor-, eco-geared, breastmilk-fed bambino being slung about the paddies in organic fitted sherpa (dip-dyed deep sultan!) and matching hand-knit sustainably harvested hemp/bamboo terry blend cover.
The more the buzzwords defy definition the better for you, your baby, the exploited 90% of the world, and the beleaguered planet.
(That narcissistic nimrod will go down fighting.)
So things are progressing quite well for us, thanks for all the emails! Hope everyone’s well! We miss you all!