“I just wanted to toggle a few things,” marveled NA, a relatively new user of the public relations megatool. Her husband KK, suddenly single, is being treated for Facebook hysteria. “It’s gone viral!”
Over the weekend, by simply changing details in their profiles, Facebook remastered the events and issued a statement that the couple ended their relationship, thereby driving traffic through the roof. “I was deleting info that doesn’t necessarily need to be public and it somehow got twisted and broadcast,” says K, as the couple found themselves in a quandary with Facebook for attempting to withhold personal information. “I mean, our friends and family know we’re married. Why bother posting it?”
“What’s happening– who am I married to now?” demanded a baffled N, while K asked more plaintively, “Would I have to move again?”
But Facebook responded that that information is released only on a need-to-know basis. It did, however, retract its request for the couple’s dental records.
“I just worry with them being so far away in a country with crocodiles and– and– mosquitos!” commented one of the parental units, wringing her hands. “If it says so on Facebook it must be true!”
The dramatic affair left an unnamed relative, whose son’s sister-in-law’s nephew’s dog walker has a facebook account and apprised her of the doomed couple, with a case of “the vapors”.
The couple plans to issue a joint smiley-face statement to reassure friends and family… right after N figures out what the poke feature is for.
We love you guys, thanks for calling/emailing to ask if we’re ok! We are! :-)
….and thanks to JW , who masterfully exploited the comic potential and principal-authored the article above for the FarEastern Onion Syndicate! ;-)
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